


Mal and Jayne's Saturday Night Poker Game

by roguewords



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 09:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11158920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguewords/pseuds/roguewords
Summary: Besides, Mal and Jayne's Saturday Night Tall Card Game just didn't have the same ring to it.





	Mal and Jayne's Saturday Night Poker Game

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: None. Slight mention of events in Jaynestown but not enough to be a spoiler.  
> Timeline: Post Jaynestown to Pre Objects in Space.  
> Disclaimer: Alas, I own neither Firefly or Serenity, that honour belongs to Joss Whedon, although I do have the DVD's. (TM ishara)  
> Prompt: Written for picfor1000, for the prompt of Wood. ( http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/roguewords/952851/82126/82126_original.jpg )  
> Word Count: 1000 exactly.  
> Author's Note: I have to thank two very amazing people. One, mjules, for being an amazing sounding board and hand holder. And two, ishara, for letting me grab her last minute and work out details, finding translation websites, and giving this a quick and dirty beta. Thanks so much, and I love you both more than you'll ever know. Any mistakes left (besides Mal's) are my fault.  
> Feedback is love.

It started as a way to kill time, when the women folk were busy doing what they do, and Wash was off doing whatever it was he did while he was flying (probably playing with those plastic dinosaurs he kept on the console.) But mostly it was just a way to keep from going stir crazy. Mal and Jayne's Saturday Night Poker Game. They never thought to invite anyone else to play, and even if they had, it was unlikely that anyone would want to with the occasional gunshots and numerous threats of death. They played for booze, played for chores, played for food when they had it, and on one memorable occasion for money. That had ended with aforementioned gunshots, and Zoe threatening to kill them both if they didn't calm the cào down. After that, the rule of no cash was firmly set in place. 

It wasn't actually poker in the sense of the Earth That Was card game. It was Tall Card, but Jayne had a funny sense of humor and sometimes Mal let him get away with it. Besides, Mal and Jayne's Saturday Night Tall Card Game just didn't have the same ring to it. 

***

"Deal," Jayne said taking a swig of whatever they were calling booze this time around. Obviously, it didn’t taste like booze if the expression on Jayne's face said anything. 

Mal started to deal out the cards, when a voice said, "Can I play?"

Jayne looked over his shoulder to see River standing in the doorway. "Ah hell, Mal."

"Now Jayne, if the girl wants to play, we should at least give her the chance."

"Mal, you weren't here the last time that gǒu pì bù tōng girl tore the kitchen apart."

"She seems alright, aren't you?" Mal asks turning to face the girl.

"Rivers run one way," she says sitting down in an empty chair. "This girl is no different."

"See Jayne? She's fine," Mal said passing out the cards.

"Do you even know how to play, little girl?"

River took a long look over Jayne and asked, "Do you, little girl?"

"I don't think that's ever going to stop being funny," Mal said laughing as Jayne mumbled under his breathe about Jayne not being a girl's name.

"Plum is high, we wager."

"I think she's got the idea. Four cards to the lady who's name is not Jayne."

***

Three hours later, and River had a stack of chores that could well last into the next two or three months. 

Zoe sat at the other end of the table, snickering. "Give it up, Sir, she's got you two beat."

"Now Zoe, what type of a man would I be if I gave up now? You ever known me to go down without a fight?

"No sir, Captain. Though that might explain some of the trouble we've gotten into."

"Hey guys, what's up?" Kaylee asked, seeing the amused expression on Zoe's face.

"River is playin' the captain and Jayne at Tall Card. And winnin'."

"Shiny," Kaylee said, taking a seat to watch the slaughter.

***

Another hour and Mal was out, with the decency of a good man to stay out.

Jayne, on the other hand, had started buying chores off of the rest of the crew. 

"You know Jayne, if you keep going at this rate, you're going to end up doing all the ships chores," Inara giggled, tipsy from the booze. She then handed over the rest of her chores in exchange for more booze.

"Now, that'd be funny," Mal said dealing the next hand.

Jayne's reply was completely non-verbal.

***

Two more hours had passed, with various members of the crew coming and going. Jayne was down to his last three chores. River looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. Mal and Kaylee both seemed to have a pretty good buzz going on; Zoe and Inara had wandered back to where ever they had come from. Possibly Zoe had gone to find Wash and do naughty things to him at the console with the plastic dinosaurs, but Mal didn't want to think about that. As he was trying to banish that thought from his brain by shaking it out of his head, the young doctor walked into the mess. 

"Hey Simon," Kaylee sing-songed out. "Where you been hidin?"

"What's going on here? River, what are you doing?"

"Winning," the girl said, looking up at her brother grinning.

"Don't get yer panties in a twist, Doc," Jayne said. "It's not like the girl's never played Tall Card before."

"She hasn't, and that's not the point. I've been searching up and down the ship looking for her!"

"Simon, you wanna calm down now," Mal stated coolly. "Obliviously, you've not been looking that long; we've been playing for about six hours now." 

"I was in the infirmary, trying to clean up from the mess this 'animal' made when he tore it up looking for tape! I only went to check on River an hour ago because I thought she was asleep."

Jayne looked up. "Whadda mean she's never ruttin' played?"

***

The next Saturday night was no where near as much fun as the last one had been. Mostly because Jayne was a cry baby and a sore loser. Especially to a slip of a girl like River, it seemed.

"It's not fair, Mal. She'd never played before! And I didn't even try to go easy on her. And now I've gotta do every gǒu pì piece of work on this boat. For three whole months!"

"I'm sure if you ask nice, the crew'll work something out with you on that."

"That's not the point! She beat me! How the hell am I supposed to live that down?"

"I don't know, Jayne. You might wanna get to thinking about that," Mal said getting up and walking out the door. "I know that's going to take you a while," he said from the corridor.

River stuck her head in the door. "Still a girl's name."

 

* gǒu pì bù tōng - nonsensical  
* cào - fuck  
* gǒu pì – shit


End file.
